When I first started writing blogs with this site, I was able to use whatever language I wanted.  Recently, onesite has changed that.  Now, instead of being able to express myself freely and write out my feelings, I have to edit them because I used a "prohibited word"
I want to know "WHY CAN'T WE USE WHATEVER LANGUAGE ANYMORE? WHY WERE THINGS CHANGED? IF PEOPLE DIDN'T LIKE THE LANGUAGE THEY SHOULD HAVE GONE TO ANOTHER SITE, INTERNET IS SUPPOSED TO BE FREE SPEECH"

Here's a list of the words we can't use (of course, they're edited):
sh*t
f*ck
@sshole
@ss

and I'm sure there are some other ones, but those are the main ones I use.  All I can say is this is getting ridiculous, before I know it, they'll be telling me I won't be alowed to talk about sex or penises or boobs or vagina's or any other words used to describe them.

It's been quite awhile since I've updated my blogs, so I'll do it with a couple of blogs so it's not so much to take in all at once.

Thursday night (last week), I wanted to go to a club and hang out with some friends, only thing is, I was broke and had no gas in my car (sometimes times get rough lol).  So I called up my friends and told them that we'd have to catch up another time.  I ended up myspacing (I tell you, that place is waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy to addicting) it up until I passed out and went to bed.  At about 3am, Julian gives me a call and asks me if I want to come over (yes, I know it's a drunk booty call, but with him, I'm ok with it-- there's no relationship potential here).  I was like "hell ya! but I have no gas in my car, so you'll have to come pick me up"
While he was on his way, I hurried up and got ready.  I walked down the road a little bit so my parents wouldn't wake up (that would be akward), and got into Julian's truck.
When we got to his house, it was about 3:30am, and from then all the way until about 7am, we had crazy sex.  I'll tell you this much, I was seriously worn out.  I could hardly move, and as soon as I got home, I passed out for quite awhile (I think it was about 2pm when I woke up).  That little session seriously tied me over for quite awhile.  I'm still feeling good lol.  Just so there's no future confusion, Julian is just a friend who I like to hook up with from time to time (friend's with bennefits), I don't see any relationship potential in him, only because I've heard stories about him with his past girlfriends.

On another note, me and Dan have been talking a little more since he appologized, and I took a risk in asking him if he wanted to hang out again.  This time he told me that he might not be able to but that he would let me know either way.  Guess what? He did let me know.... that he couldn't, but at least I think he's getting the point, that it would be nice to at least say something so someone knows.  Even though I like him, I don't think we'll ever be more than friends, I just feel like he's not all about it.

Guess who decided to appologize FOUR days later for blowing me off?  That's right, Dan.  This morning I was checking my myspace, and I saw a message he sent me.   He told me he was really sorry for not calling or texting me about not being able to hang out on Thursday, and that he's had a lot of stuff going on lately.  Me, being the way too nice person that I am, told him that I appreciated him appologizing and that if we ever hang out again, to just call or text if something comes up.  He told me that he really appreciated me giving him a second chance and he realizes that not too many people would be willing to do that.
And you know what? He's right.  Not too many people would be willing to do that.  Maybe I'm too nice, but he just seems so different from most guys (except for the blowing off part).  I decided, I'll give him another chance and if we do end up making plans to hang out, he better follow through this time or I'm seriously never talking to him again.  I told him that I really do not like being blown off and that if he would've never appologized, I would've never talked to him again and ignored him everytime I saw him.
I realize stuff comes up, but please, have the curtisy to call or text.  If I crossed any boundaries, I'd want to know so that in the future I wouldn't do it again.
What do you guys think? Am I being too nice?  Or do you think he deserves a second chance since he appologized?  Let me know.

So you guys all know about how Dan blew me off when we were supposed to hang out at the beach, so that leads me to believe you'll understand about the built up stress.
As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't stop thinking about why he would have blown me off and not called or texted me.  That was all that was on my mind, and everytime I tried to push it away with the thought of something new, those thoughts would just push themselves back into my head.
Well, I was about to push them out for at least one night (or two).  On Friday, my friend Julian (who I've known for sometime now) gave me a call and asked if I wanted to hang out.  I told him that I was going to a movie with my mom and that I would give him a call around 10pm. 
I got ready to go to the movie with my mom, and  we left.  There was something wrong with the theatre that we were going to go see the movie in (no air conditioning or something crazy), so we had to drive to another theatre.  We ended up getting tickets to go see a 9:30pm movie (Nancy Drew if you're curious), and wandering around the mall until it was time. 
I was pretty sure it was going to be close to midnight when I finally got home, so as we were wandering around the stores, I was playing with the fragrance and make-up samples so that I could be ready to go right away.
After the movie was over, and we got home, I checked my messages and found that Julian had sent a text message and called twice.  I tried to call him back, but he didn't answer, so I figured he was already in the club and couldn't hear me, so I just went to bed (which was actually ok, because I had been up since 4:30am that morning and it was pretty close to 1am when I passed out).
The next day, Julian gave me a call and asked if I was busy that night.  I told him that I worked until 11pm but that I would for sure give him a call when I got off and we could hang out.  So I made myself look all hot so that when I got off of work, I could just go hang out with him instead of going home to get ready and driving all the way back into town.  Dan was supposed to work that night as well, so I wanted to look really hot and have him say something and just ignore him, but I never saw him.  When I got off work, I called Julian, and went over to a house party that he was at.  All of his friends were like "wow! she's really hot!"
We ended up leaving the party shortly after and going to a bar called City Tropics.  Julian bought me a cosmo, and since I hadn't had much to eat that day, I didn't want to drink too much.  Julian was inside talking to some fellow firefighter friends (yes this boy dons a hot firefighter uniform ahhhhhhh).  I was out on the balcony with one of his other friends, and we did a shot called "sex with an aligator" together (the shot was amazing, and I was being cool by bonding with his friends.  After that, we mingled for a bit and he bought me a drink called "pink pussycat" (cherry brandi, gin, grenadine, and pineapple juice).  I decided that would be it since I didn't have much to eat that day and I was starting to get a little tipsy.  Eventually we ended up leaving, and going back to his house.  One thing led to another and we ended up hooking up.
Let me tell you, this boy is amazing, and I deffinately relieved all the built up stress that I had.  He helped me forget that I was having a bad weekend and helped me have a great night.  Afterwards, I went home, and went to bed.  He called me the next day and asked when we'd be able to hang out again, and I told him to just send a text or give me a call whenever he was available considering my schedule is pretty flexible, and he said he would.
I don't think that he's boyfriend material or anything, but he's a fun friend to hang out with and most deffinately takes my mind off things that bother me. 

I'm having the day from h*ll
It was all going so well
Before you came
And you told me you needed space
With a kiss on the side of my face
Not again
And not to mention
The tears I shed
I shoulda kicked your
*ss instead
I need intervention
Attention to stop this temptation to scream  
Everything is f'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me, what do you do when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up, where do I start
Cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No, ohh

Those are the lyrics to a song called "When It All Falls Apart" by the Veronicas.  Those lyrics pretty much describe my day today.  I had a feeling this was going to happen too.  Dan blew me off.  Not only did he blow me off and not go to the beach with me today, he didn't bother calling or texting me to let me know that he wouldn't be able to make it.  You know, if he would have at least let me know that today wasn't going to work out, then I might not be so mad or frustrated right now, but I guess I'm not good enough to get an explaination for him. 
I don't know why I'm letting it bother me so much, he's just a stupid boy, a boy like any other, but I don't know... I guess I thought maybe for a change I had met a nice guy.  A guy who would at least have the decency to call me and let me know if plans weren't going to work out.  And here's another thing, one of the girls that work the same shift as him, talked to him and he said he might not be able to hang out with me because he has car problems and he's nervous and doesn't want me to think that he doesn't like me if he doesn't talk to me.
Well let me tell you something... when someone doesn't talk to me and flat out blows me off the way he did, I get the "he deffinately has no interest in me" vibe.  And you know what? I've played enough of those games.  He can tell everybody and their mother's that he can't hang out with me because of car problems, but he can't tell me?
He just screwed up royally.  He lost any chance of ever getting to know me.  I'm completely over this boy.  Yes, I was crushed that he turned out to be this way.  Yes, I know I talked about him a lot.  Yes, I'm still a little hurt over this, but sh*t happens. 
I'm not talking to him anymore.  If he ever wants to hang out with me, he better have a darn good excuse... and I mean GOOD.
I'm not in the mood for playing games right now.  He has to realize that if he's into me, he better step up, because I'm tired of trying to break the ice.  I don't want to waste the effort if it means nothing.