It's been almost a whole month since I last posted a blog, and I appologize.
I will post those pictures tonight, I have nothing better to do with my Friday night. That excruciatingly hot guy I mentioned? So getting married-- at least he was fun to look at for the time being. The guy that no longer deserves to have his name mentioned? I'm over him (almost 100%). My birthday is this Tuesday (March 25), and I haven't really thought much about it. All I know is that tomorrow, I'm, going to go get my hair done and just give myself a complete make over for me. I am back to my old self. I flirt and don't care what guys think. I go out and have fun and don't worry about whether or not there is a guy I can meet or not. I'm over it. Completely. From now on, you may hear me mention a guy here and there, but it will just be to tell you if I think he's cute or a loser or whatever. You won't hear me go on and on about a guy (like I did with the last one) until things are actually serious. If things aren't serious, then obviously, he's not important.
When I get home, I'll post those new pics, and you can check out the gallaries and keep yourselves entertained until I get some new posts going.
WOW! I've missed blogging and I have plenty of great stories to come:)

I've decided to stop mentioning the unmentionable for the time being.  Right now I'd like to share with you something rather quickly.
Last Thursday (the 21st of February), my sister and I went to a Pink Spiders concert and got tons of pictures and videos that I will share with you soon when I have more time to blog.  Long story short, the concert was AMAZING and we had a blast.
Best news that I will leave with you tonight:
I saw a beautiful guy and he's soooooooooooo hot, excrutiatingly hot, and he can temporarily take my mind off of other things that aren't going so well.  All I know is he's a year older than me and super hot.
The End

I'll write more later and fill you in with all of the details-- I'm sure you're dying to know (lol).

In my happy home, I barely breathe... right now, I am so confused.  Or maybe not confused, but there's all of these emotions coming over me, and I don't know what to do with them.
Soooooooooo much is building up, and it's insane.  First of all, as you all know, there are 4 days until Valentine's Day (give or take a little, depending on your location), and as you may or may not have guessed, I have no date-- as usual.  Unfortunately, I have these very strong feelings for Carson, and I look back on all of my blogs and realize that no matter what I keep telling myself, he really is an a$$hole.  I need to stop doing this to myself and I can't.  I need to rid myself of him, his presence and all that reminds me of him, but I can't. 
So you got that building up, and my mind racing at a thousand miles an hour trying to figure out what is wrong with me and why I can't just go back to the old me and be over me, and then you got the fact that... well, I don't know.
Usually, when I'm in church, I can sit and concentrate.  I don't look at the time, I don't look to see who showed up or who's coming in late.  I don't bounce around, and nothing can distract me.  Today, well, today was different.
Instead of sitting there listining to what was being taught, I was thinking of none other than that a$$hole I so lovingly refer to as Carson.  I sat and thought about how I could convince him to spend Valentine's day with me.  Well here's a thought:
"If you have to think of ways to convince a person to hang out with you, it's not a good thing."
I'm just an emotional wreck right now.  I don't feel like going out and being around with all of my friends, instead I'd rather stay home and watch those sappy love movies I hate so much and envy those girls for the perfect movie lifestyles they get to have.  It's horrible and I decided I really need to stop it.  I'm falling behind on my school work, I'm not eating, I've lost touch with some really good friends, and for what?  An a$$hole that will never understand how much he means to me?  An a$$hole who couldn't care if I was around or not?
I decided I'm going to fix myself, I don't know how, but I'm going to do it.  No more falling for guys-- EVER!  No more caring about what a guy thinks about me.  No more wasting my time thinking about a guy that doesn't do the same for me.  No MORE!

Remember how I told you that I would stop talking to Carson and forget about him completely if he didn't text me in a whole week?  Well he did text me-- on a Thursday!  It was just some lame text about how he spilled hot chocolate on himself, but a text none the less.  He didn't send me anymore texts after that, and I didn't bother trying to text him.  On Sunday, I saw him and ignored him... sat in different classes and different parts of the church-- he ended up coming up to me to talk.  He sent me a text Sunday night, but I didn't reply, instead I talked to one of my friends who sent me a similiar text (about President Hinkley dying). 
I didn't bother texting Carson at all, and today (today is a Friday), Carson sent me a text telling me that school was cancelled-- I ignored it.  Later on he sent me a text asking if I said "rabbit rabbit" this morning when I woke up (because on the first of the month, that is what you're supposed to do, and you will get good luck for the whole month), and I responded with a simple "yep."
Then he was like "how do you do that?" because apparently he always forgets (sucks to be him).  And here is where I messed things up, because this is how I responded, "I just dream about it, and it happens.  I hope it works in 13 days, because I don't want to be alone on Valentine's day lol."
I didn't get a response from him, and I still haven't recieve a response (almost 3 hours later).  Yes, I would love to spend Valentine's day with him, and that text pretty much implied him, but I wasn't meaning for it to sound so direct.  If he ever does reply or says something mean, I'll be like "what makes you think I was talking about you?" 
And it's not like I meant to start a relationship or go out with that text, it just simply said that I don't want to be alone, and the "lol" made it less serious sounding.

Ok, enough about that boy.  There are 13 more days until Valentine's day, and I recently figured out how to upload videos on my myspace profile, so I am doing something like a video blog to document my quest to find a Valentine.  I'm sure that they are lame, but it's something to do, and I guess I'll have to see what happens.

One last note.  Remember how I told you about the boy from Express?  Total a$$hole!  He called me up and asked me if I wanted to come over to his hotel room to have a little "fun."  I was like "I'm sorry, what part of me has slut written all over it?"  He started freaking out and calling me a prude and I hung up on him-- the end of that boy.  Also I know that I still attract guys, I still get guys flirting with me, and even though not all of them are cute, it still makes me feel good about myself and lets me know that Carson or no Carson, it is not the end of the world, and one day those braces of his will rip his lips off:D

Ok, sorry guys.  The heading was just a lure, but, just so everybody knows my cleavage does smell like cotton candy lol.
Tonight, I went to this seminar that teaches you the dos and don'ts of relationships.  Yes, I admit, I'm getting desperate (ok, not really, I'm just trying to figure out a way to make things work with Carson and I'm hoping this might help).  You will all be very proud of me:  I decided not to talk to Carson for a whole week (which means that aside from this blog, you will not hear about him unless I do, and chances of that happening are very high indeed).
If Carson does not contact me at all in this week, I am done with him.  SERIOUSLY!  No more talk about him or feelings... they are gone (ok, that's a lie, but I have to get ready for it, because I have a feeling that is what's going to happen).
Even though I like Carson more than words can describe, I have to do what is right for myself.  I have to do what is going to make me happy in the long run, and falling for a guy who has nothing to do with me is a waste of time and it's bad for my self esteem.
And I just want to say:
I thought that I had lost my magic touch.  I thought that I was no longer able to put out that very flirty vibe and get what I want from guys until the other day when I was working at Express, and this guy came up to me and asked me if I could help him pick out a shirt.
This guy was cute, and he had a very nice body, and he even smelled good (lol-- don't like those stinky guys).  Anyways, I was helping him look for a shirt, and he's like, "actually the only reason I came over here is because you're very beautiful and I wanted to get your number" (yes I am, but ummmmmm lamest line ever).  I told him that I would make a deal with him, "if you buy a shirt and open up a credit card, I will give you my number."  It worked.  He bought a shirt and opened up a credit card, and now I have to go out with him sometime-- not exactly looking forward to it because, well, I'm just not.  I'll keep you posted.